some funnies for today

British humour

It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed
to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Persil in to stop the coloureds running.


Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.


Riots in Wythenshawe last month caused over a million pounds worth of improvements.


Muslims have gone on the rampage in Liverpool, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 3.


Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham , Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester ,Luton and London. Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the
doctor away." But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've
found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

A pharmacist walked into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant. "He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives."

"You idiot" said the chemist,"You can't treat a cough with laxatives."

"Of course you can" the assistant replied, "Look at him.........he daren't cough now!!"