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Join date : 2012-05-29
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 |  Subject: Drafting Guys Over 60  Thu 30 Aug 2012, 08:22 | |
| Drafting
Guys Over 60 This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military
unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple
of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I
can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and
maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for
awhile.. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old
guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.
Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and
since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing
somefanatical son-of-a-bitch.If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their
best years are already behind them.HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You
think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it. | |
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