A Scottish soldier walked into the pharmacy near his base, pulled a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asked the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom.
The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot welding the holes, it would cost 26 cents, but that for 29 cents, he could sell the private a new one.
The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in two hours with an answer."
Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and said, "The regiment has voted to replace."