a few blonde jokes

A friend told the blonde: "Christmas is on a Friday this year" The blonde then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th.
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A blonde woman and her neighbor were talking...The neighbor said:"Close your curtains the next time you & your husband are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."To which the blond replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy, "she tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". The blonde says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
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A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "What the hell you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself, "the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the Guard."I know," he replies, "but I couldn't breathe".
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An Italian tourist asks a blonde:"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"To which the blonde replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."